Team Ioan Gruffudd or Alice Evans? | Mumsnet (2024)

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BabyBearRus · 30/10/2021 00:47

I've been following the story around the breakup of Ioan and Alice. I haven't been a great fan of Alice in the past, but I do feel for her and her children right now. Who else thinks that Ioan has behaved atrociously to his family? According to his wife, he has been having an affair for a long while, and making her feel as though she was in the wrong for months.

OP posts:

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OrangeJuiceAndNoodles · 30/10/2021 00:56

I feel for her and I really don't know what she should do for the best.

She clearly finds comfort in social Media so why cut yourself off from the thing that buoys you up in dark times. But at the same time, she's inviting a truckload of mysogyny ('crazy woman' etc)

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ballsdeep · 30/10/2021 01:04

I feel terribly sorry for her. Obviously he is keeping quiet and hasn't said anything but reading her account of him gas lighting her and then just coming out with I don't love you anymore must be heart breaking.
It's true what she says though. Some men just walk away from their families and start a new rosy life, whilst the woman is left holding the pieces together

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workshy44 · 30/10/2021 01:06

I feel so sorry for her. It seems like they had a good relationship for 20 odd years and then he meets someone else, maybe nothing happened but his head was turned and he went stone cold and that is so hard to take, it drives you crazy as you can't understand why. I think she will be better now and at least be able to start to grieve the end of the relationship as she knows why. I feel for her but it is always women who are told to be dignified and silent as if that will somehow make things easier, i think generally it just helps the husband move on guilt free without having to witness the devastation they have caused.
I wouldn't do it personally but I don't blame her and as the previous poster suggested , a lot of mysogyny at play ('crazy woman' etc)

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HermioneKipper · 30/10/2021 01:07

I feel so much for her. She’s clearly in such a bad place. And I can’t imagine the humiliation of giving up your career and best years for a man who abandons you for a new woman 20 years younger. Just horrendous.

Though I wish for her children she would stop with the social media rants, they’re going to read all that one day ☹️

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workshy44 · 30/10/2021 01:20

I remember reading an article about the person who interviews people for the day in the life articles in the Times and they were like ugh why her kind of thing and then when they met her being totally blown away by how funny , smart and interesting she was. She was really stunning so could have had a great career but gave it up for him and the family as as she said you can't have two actors working 18 hour days and to be dumped for a younger model in your 50's when it was so hard to start again.

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altmember · 30/10/2021 01:23

I don't know. There's 3 sides to every story, or at least 5 where the tabloid media are involved!

For all we know their relationship might have been dead for years and he's only just got together with the new woman. Or he could have been cheating for years. It's certainly got to put strain on a relationship when you spend months apart, on different continents to each other, even if it is for work purposes.

Not sure I fully believe anything in the press, or on twitter for that matter. And I doubt it's good for any of those involved to keep having so much tabloid and social media coverage.

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ShinyHappyPoster · 30/10/2021 01:25

I actually love that she isn't pretending everything is fine. I hope being open about it all is cathartic. Too often, men treat women badly and it's swept under the carpet.

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TonyThreePies · 30/10/2021 01:28

@HermioneKipper

I feel so much for her. She’s clearly in such a bad place. And I can’t imagine the humiliation of giving up your career and best years for a man who abandons you for a new woman 20 years younger. Just horrendous.

Though I wish for her children she would stop with the social media rants, they’re going to read all that one day ☹️

Yeah I can, cos it happened to me. It still burns years later. When they split up and it was in the media I thought then that he was having an affair. And I was so raw and heartbroken and desperate for help when it happened to me that I posted things on SM that I am not proud of now. She's grieving and hurt. She's not in a rational place right now and I get that.

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MyDogLovesBiscuits · 30/10/2021 02:32

Think there's something not right with her, she's very erratic and honestly think she's damaging her children with some of what she's telling/showing them. She's only come on my radar in the last wee while but it looks like there's a lot more going on under the surface of what her SM says.

There's been talk of them divorcing for a while from what I've been told - people who were paying more attention than me - and she's talked about it a few times, sometimes saying it had been something he'd discussed with her, other times saying it was totally out of the blue.

She's made some extreme accusations and then deleted them from twitter. From what I gather I would put money on her having a drinking problem.

If he has cheated then he's a sh*t.

I feel very sorry for the children because I think this is going to be really hard on them, especially being in tabloids etc. I hope they have appropriate support and their parents are able to get their own sh*t in order so they can co-parent their children without the circus that's going on right now.

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LoekMa · 30/10/2021 04:25

Team her kids. Shes giving bullies so mucv ammo to torment her kids. Social media is a nightmare and when she said she had more online friends than real friends I knew her issues ran deeper than whatever led to the separation.
Ultimately though I am team focus on ones own marriage. I dont know these people and the way the man has handled himself, I wish him all the best.

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Coffeeonmytoffee · 30/10/2021 04:29

Alice! She's hit 50 and been traded in for a younger model and is refusing to go quietly. Good for her.

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Elderflower14 · 30/10/2021 05:13

I feel sorry for the children... This is going to completely going to mess them up. 😔 😔

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Figgyboa · 30/10/2021 05:33

Team kids! Noone knows exactly what happened in their marriage and we only hear her side. My Ex H made out that I was to blame for our separation yet it was him who cheated and left to be with the mistress.

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Lookingoutside · 30/10/2021 05:37

I’ve seen pictures of her and it’s like you can see and feel her pain through them. I also think she will come to regret the social media posts but agree that the expectation on women to keep their ‘dignity’ is misogynistic.

Poor lady. I hope it starts to pass for her soon.

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asteroommatus · 30/10/2021 05:37

Not sure how anyone can be on team anyone since non of us know what's happened.

It appears she saw a photo of him with his new girlfriend, 11 months after they separated and exited he definitely was seeing her 2 years before he left. But with no proof.

He possible was having an affair. Or he possible wasn't and started seeing someone after he separated.

I am guessing he isn't perfect. But neither is she. If I told DP I wanted to split and his reaction was to immediately post on fb or twitter I would see that as an attempt to control me and shame me into agreeing to stay. Infintley worse if you are famous.

Things like these usually have 2 different points of view

Alot of people are saying she gave up her career for him and now he has cast her aside. That absolutely could be true.

Or it could be a million miles from the truth. There's a thread at the moment where a woman of a similar age divorced and admits she just refused to work or act like a grown up in anyway. Refused to any house administration and generally just enjoyed her life of very little work even though her kids were grown up.

I am not saying Alice is wrong or right. But that the truth is mist probably somewhere in the middle.

However, she is the one potentially bringing damage to the kids. Usually during a split and divorce this sort of behaviour alienates kids. Especially, as they grow older and understand more about what happened.

I suspect, whoever, is the wrong (one the other or both) this will back fire on her when it comes to the children.

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tiggerwhocamefortea · 30/10/2021 05:57

I feel sorry for her but only because she seems to be slightly unhinged - her behaviour hasn't covered herself in glory lately and certainly hasn't been dignified - what was with the whole flashing her ring finger at photographers??? At the moment whilst he "may" have been a dog and not entirely faithful i suspect a lot of people think he's had a lucky escape!

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Yellowscreen · 30/10/2021 06:43

Alice. I have been on the other side of this equation before, I was horrified the way he broke up with her, and lost respect for him flaunting me, the scales fell off my eyes and the relationship didn’t last long. Even though he was all over me it was clear he what a mean heart to do that to her. My “Alice” grieved in private but I’ve never forgotten her. I’m glad Alice is not protecting Ioan by going quietly. The kids will be fine. I’d be proud of my mom sticking up for herself. She will heal eventually, maybe even quicker because she’s letting the poison out now. She loves her kids and will help them heal too

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FaaarkinEll · 30/10/2021 06:53

Given that you don't know his side of the story and what shes like behind closed doors, perhaps you should grow up, drop the juvenile "team" crap and consider there's 3 sides to every story. His, hers and the truth.

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CovidCorvid · 30/10/2021 07:12

What she says about it all falling into place rings true. That for a year or more before he left he was being off with her, saying he didn’t love her, blaming her, but he was being erratic somehaving sex with her, sometimes pushing her away while seeming very keen to get back to set. That smacks of someone who has found love elsewhere. Of course there’s a remote possibility he just got bored of her and there was nobody else.

I feel sorry for her, she’s obviously heartbroken. He’s still her husband, they were together for ages and for her to find out via Instagram he has a girlfriend is a bit sh*t. He could at least have texted her.

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MichelleScarn · 30/10/2021 07:17

Agree with the 'team' kids posters.. how uncaring and unthinking about how this will affect them.
So just because she says it, its true? More than just one side to a story.

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LadyLuLou · 30/10/2021 07:24

I agree, the Team approach is distasteful when you consider how much pain is involved for real people. This isn't love Island or strictly, this is a real family.

This poor woman is clearly in a significant amount of emotional distress, its palpable. Whatever happened in their marriage is none of our business. What matters is that a human being has someone who cares about her to help her step away from the media vultures. Not for the sake of anyone else, but for herself. This over expose isn't about telling a 'truth' it's a potentially dangerous social media exploitation, which could have tragic consequences.

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lolawasashowgirl · 30/10/2021 07:24

Nobody knows the real story but she's obviously in a lot of pain. However I thought it was pretty unnecessary of him to announce his new relationship on Instagram - why can't he just quietly get on with it? He would have known it would distress her as she clearly didn't know about it. I thought that was pretty cruel. Anyone can tell that she's struggling to accept the end of the relationship and to compound her obvious distress is very unkind.

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Nyxs · 30/10/2021 07:28

@CovidCorvid

What she says about it all falling into place rings true. That for a year or more before he left he was being off with her, saying he didn’t love her, blaming her, but he was being erratic somehaving sex with her, sometimes pushing her away while seeming very keen to get back to set. That smacks of someone who has found love elsewhere. Of course there’s a remote possibility he just got bored of her and there was nobody else.

I feel sorry for her, she’s obviously heartbroken. He’s still her husband, they were together for ages and for her to find out via Instagram he has a girlfriend is a bit sh*t. He could at least have texted her.

On the flip side. My ex says the same thing about me. In actual fact, I never ever came close to cheating. He moved in with someone within 6 months of us splitting. But still maintains that I left him for someone else.

I didn't get in a relationship for 2 years. The truth is I was unhappy for a long time, because he liked to control me. When I no longer accepted it, he assumed cheating.

I see on MN all the time, that people withdraw they have probably found someone else. But alot of the time they have just realised they can't make it work anymore.

So we have no idea if he cheated or if started dating after they separated. But her assuming it's cheating doesn't prove anything. As above, the article says they handr spoken for 11 months.

I certainly wouldn't be giving my ex the head up I was seeing someone else.

But, he could be a complete sh*t who cheated all the way through. We simply don't know.

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Nyxs · 30/10/2021 07:31

However I thought it was pretty unnecessary of him to announce his new relationship on Instagram - why can't he just quietly get on with it?

I would agree with this. But also, since she posted on twitter as soon as he said it was over, not sure she can claim the high ground on that issue.

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CovidCorvid · 30/10/2021 07:34

@Nyxs

However I thought it was pretty unnecessary of him to announce his new relationship on Instagram - why can't he just quietly get on with it?

I would agree with this. But also, since she posted on twitter as soon as he said it was over, not sure she can claim the high ground on that issue.

Yes, but my point wasn’t really about social media use per se. More about giving the other person a heads up as a courtesy. She may have posted about it on Twitter but he didn’t find out about a new relationship from that.

I do think she’s having some sort of break down and needs some help.

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